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A Live Sound Engineer's Hate List

1) Lighting guys
2) Two minute set changes
3) 104 Volts
4) Elevators or stairs load-ins
5) 18 acts, 30 timbales, 12 hours (this is a long story)
6) Volunteer stage hands
7) People who sit in front of the PA and then complain that
it's too loud
8) Sound companies that don't zero out the console before
you use it and still has the tape from the last show on your inputs
9) Companies that say, "Oh yeah, we have a 40-channel console.", 
and when you show up, it's two 20-channel consoles slaved together
10) From the sound company, "We've got all the best stuff! I
don't know why it sounds like this... it always sounds great to me!"
11) Mixing monitors from FOH
12) System engineers that try to "help" you mix the show
13) Companies that bring out inadequate gear because they
bid too low to get the gig
14) Mix positions in stupid locations
15)
 
Being short of channels because the headliner won't let you use
them and there's no additional console for the opening act.
12 Stupid Sayings From The Audience
1) "What would happen if I did this?" (With simulation of twisting knobs on console)
2) "That would look great in my living room!"
3) "Do you know what ALL those knobs do?"
4) "Are you the DJ"?
5) "Where is the talent knob?"
6) "Can I keep my coat back there?"
7) "I can't hear the vocals." (From the people in frontof the stage)
8) "Do you get to the meet the band?"
9) "What does THIS do?"... as the audience member leans over the board
10) "Can't you count any higher than two?"
11) "What would you do if I touched this?"
12) "It's too loud!" (While sitting in front of the PA)